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Great Untruths, Part 2

Posted by on Monday, January 30, 2012 · Leave a Comment 

President Gerald Ford looks as Dick Cheney and Donald Rumsfeld, in their younger years, laugh at an inside joke.

Cheney and Rumsfeld: "So, uh we were thinking you could use this really cool line we, uh, found *snickers*"

Seriously, stop repeating this crap. In a earlier entry, I covered many of the quotes from a long list of supposed “Great Truths” that make anti-government activists tingle with delight. Here’s the second half, along with the correct attributions and context.

The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin. — Mark Twain
Once again, this quote is misattributed to Mark Twain. Mortimer Caplan said this in Time in 1963, or at least something like it.
The ultimate result of shielding men from the effects of folly is to fill the world with fools. — Herbert Spencer, English Philosopher (1820-1903)
True, Spencer said this, and he was a dyed-in-the-wool libertarian, but how does it prove your point?
There is no distinctly Native American criminal class…save Congress. — Mark Twain
Well, at least Twain actually said this one, although he included a caveat that most people forget about: His version of the phrase starts with “It could probably be shown by facts and figures that…” FactCheck.org covered this a while back. So this was less a statement of fact and more a joke, but since it agrees with populist sentiment, most people assume the former.
What this country needs are more unemployed politicians. — Edward Langley, Artist (1928-1995)
There might have been an Edward Langley who said this, who might have been an artist. But since this guy already looked up the artist named Edward Langley and found only a guy who had lived between 1870 and 1949, completely different dates than those listed here (1928-1995). He wasn’t exactly known for politics, either… or for writing.
A government big enough to give you everything you want, is strong enough to take everything you have. — Thomas Jefferson
Oh wow, a quote from Thomas Jeff… oh, wait, another fake. Was probably said by Gerald Ford, not Thomas Jefferson.
We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office. — Aesop
This is unsourced in anything I can find from Aesop.
FIVE BEST SENTENCES
1. You cannot legislate the poor into prosperity, by legislating the wealth out of prosperity.

2. What one person receives without working for…another person must work for without receiving.

3. The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else.

4. You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it.

5. When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work, because the other half is going to take care of them, and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work, because somebody else is going to get what they work for, that is the beginning of the end of any nation!

Oh, brilliant stuff. I suppose I can’t rag on this for misattribution. Heck, they didn’t even bother with attribution, but usually they stick Norman Rockwell’s name on this. Of course it’s from a right-winger.

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